Bow to your new Mistress

Comment on newsposts and stuff here.
Post Reply
User avatar
Jan
Caliph
Posts: 2762
Joined: Sat Dec 11, 2004 7:55 am
Gender: Female
Main Character: Janet
Contact:

Bow to your new Mistress

Post by Jan »

<p><small>(also known as: the fetish special update)</small></p><div class='imageframe'><img src='http://orderofhasson.com/images/news/20 ... natrix.jpg' alt='ragnatrix.jpg' /></div><p>Above is an artistic and cultivated metaphor, depicting the subtle and loving relationship between OOH and our last standing obstacle to beating the Molten Core. (Or, if you prefer, Rogmog's wildest fantasy.) Alas, the scene quickly turned a mite too awry to our liking, and then we found out Red Queen Ragnaros had forgotten the safeword. Bellowing it out proud leaves the cruel mistress unfazed.</p><div class='imageframe'><img src='http://orderofhasson.com/images/news/20 ... _horde.jpg' alt='yo-janet_horde.jpg' /></div><p>But no worries, we're not about to let such a slight inconvenience hinder our progression. Humiliation is, after all, part of the trade... So what we receive, we deal tenfold. As such, we've been roughing up every single boss in Molten Core within the space of two nights. I'll spare you carefully cropped loot shots, as they can easily be summed up by this:<br /></p><div class='imageframe'><img src='http://orderofhasson.com/images/news/20 ... narion.gif' alt='zeel_cenarion.gif' /></div><p>Now let's see. This is all fine and well, but how are we to pursue our noble horde-on-MC S&M endeavor without some drive and libido? Intense as the area is, some might be afraid that Order of Hasson may run out of steam for this ongoing metaphor. A quick tour of the local denizens should convince you otherwise.</p><div class='imageframe'><img src='http://orderofhasson.com/images/news/20 ... anorgy.jpg' alt='mc_manorgy.jpg' /></div><div class='imageframe'><table cellpadding='0' cellspacing='0' class='imageframe'><tr><td colspan='3' class='h' /></tr><tr><td class='v' /><td class='i'><a href='http://orderofhasson.com/images/news/20 ... .jpg'><img src='http://orderofhasson.com/images/news/20 ... eparty.jpg' alt='guild_nakeddanceparty.jpg thumbnail' /></a></td><td class='v' /></tr><tr><td colspan='3' class='h' /></tr></table></div><div class='imageframe'><img src='http://orderofhasson.com/images/news/20 ... friend.jpg' alt='galuda_girlfriend.jpg' /><br />Poor, poor Galuda. You should've followed the expert's advice:</div><div class='imageframe'><img src='http://orderofhasson.com/images/news/20 ... o_anal.jpg' alt='yo_anal.jpg' /></div><div class='imageframe'><img src='http://orderofhasson.com/images/news/20 ... sheep2.jpg' alt='pogo_sheep2.jpg' /><br />At least Shaun sticks to the safe prospects.</div><div class='imageframe'><img src='http://orderofhasson.com/images/news/20 ... mwhore.jpg' alt='rafa_gilmwhore.jpg' /><br />Others rely on each other, which works as well.</div><div class='imageframe'><img src='http://orderofhasson.com/images/news/20 ... d_pron.jpg' alt='guild_pron.jpg' /><br />There's also self-service, though care must be taken for it not to get out of hand. Pardon the pun.</div><div class='imageframe'><img src='http://orderofhasson.com/images/news/20 ... family.jpg' alt='ves_family.jpg' /><br />And last, but not least... You can always turn to the family!</div><p><div class='imageframe'><img src='http://orderofhasson.com/images/news/20 ... i_fuck.jpg' alt='bidi_fuck.jpg' /><br />But even family can turn you down. That must be harsh.</div></p><p>With all these distractions, people have a hard time staying focused and on track for raids... Even with the incentive of the world famous DKP and loot. Officers, however, have ideas in store to harvest this enthusiasm into motivation for the guild!</p><div class='imageframe'><img src='http://orderofhasson.com/images/news/20 ... points.gif' alt='inuk_points.gif' /></div><p>And then people wonder where are all the girls in the guild.</p><p><hr /></p><p>Kids! Don't forget, enthusiasm is fine and well, but you must use proper protection. Catholicism counsels it.</p><div class='imageframe'><img src='http://orderofhasson.com/images/news/20 ... ondoms.jpg' alt='guild_condoms.jpg' /><br />No, forget all about rubbers. Just ask the local specialist:</div><div class='imageframe'><img src='http://orderofhasson.com/images/news/20 ... anwrap.jpg' alt='zaklu_saranwrap.jpg' /></div><p>Hmmm, that's almost a foul, even for me. Let's leave it at that for now.</p><p><hr /></p><p>Random nothings</p><div class='imageframe'><img src='http://orderofhasson.com/images/news/20 ... 2/aids.jpg' alt='aids.jpg' /><br />Some of you might have heard, or experienced the Plague. Just follow the wise counsel and you'll be safe.</div><p>Worse than the plague, hurricane devastation, inflated gas prices and Kanye West's whining... It's the <strike>walking fashion statement</strike> OOH's first Arcanist crown drop ever. Behold, the horror.</p><div class='imageframe'><img src='http://orderofhasson.com/images/news/20 ... _crown.jpg' alt='pogo_crown.jpg' /></div><div class='imageframe'><img src='http://orderofhasson.com/images/news/20 ... _dream.gif' alt='galuda_dream.gif' /><br />Just don't start writing bad rap songs about your dream. </div><div class='imageframe'><img src='http://orderofhasson.com/images/news/20 ... _queer.jpg' alt='monox_queer.jpg' /></div><div class='imageframe'><img src='http://orderofhasson.com/images/news/20 ... istian.jpg' alt='guild_christian.jpg' /><br />What's so foul about this language?</div><div class='imageframe'><img src='http://orderofhasson.com/images/news/20 ... adword.jpg' alt='alluvin_badword.jpg' /><br />This is more like it.</div><p><hr /></p><p>It was once speculated there must be a law out there specifying that rogues must have retarded names. Let's add more proof to the case.</p><div class='imageframe'><img src='http://orderofhasson.com/images/news/20 ... brains.jpg' alt='insipid_givebrains.jpg' /></div><div class='imageframe'><img src='http://orderofhasson.com/images/news/20 ... mrogue.jpg' alt='insipid_rockemrogue.jpg' /></div><div class='imageframe'><img src='http://orderofhasson.com/images/news/20 ... urboat.jpg' alt='insipid_rogueurboat.jpg' /></div><div class='imageframe'><img src='http://orderofhasson.com/images/news/20 ... ration.jpg' alt='insipid_penetration.jpg' /></div><p>And then there's your latest guild of eight-year-olds.</p><div class='imageframe'><img src='http://orderofhasson.com/images/news/20 ... tkills.jpg' alt='insipid_skillsthatkills.jpg' /></div><p>Terrible.</p><p><hr /></p><p>This update brought to you by furries, ocelots, Captain Kirk and David Hasslehoff:</p><div class='imageframe'><img src='http://orderofhasson.com/images/news/20 ... allads.jpg' alt='bidi_powerballads.jpg' /></div>
Last edited by Jan on Fri Sep 23, 2005 5:50 pm, edited 5 times in total.
User avatar
Gilmore
Assassin
Posts: 1149
Joined: Sun Jan 23, 2005 10:11 pm
Gender: Male
Location: Cincinnati

Post by Gilmore »

<3
Kollar
Dervish
Posts: 530
Joined: Fri Apr 30, 2004 12:29 am

Post by Kollar »

good shit jan, although that photoshop of rag might be a bit... too good. :shock:
Harriet (Tubgirl) erudite magician
Bhygkontryy Ogre shaman

crushinator/delta/boagrius hunter/mage/shaman
Arne
Assassin
Posts: 1100
Joined: Tue Dec 14, 2004 7:50 pm

Post by Arne »

I'm a bit confused with the almost complete obsession of Penis in this guild, the Rag pic is f'ing hilarious though.

Nice job on the updates jan.
User avatar
Ves
Caliph
Posts: 4312
Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2004 6:35 pm
Location: Louisville, KY

Post by Ves »

We are all closet homosexuals. Its like when mister Garison from South Park tries to write a sex novel and ends up writing about penises most of the time.
Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity

Image
User avatar
GraaceAndWill
Assassin
Posts: 1242
Joined: Sat May 01, 2004 3:59 pm
Gender: Mangina
Main Character: Dal
Location: Dayton, OH

Post by GraaceAndWill »

Too funny, you guys talk about penis way more than I do!
Where there is virtual man ass, there you shall find me.
User avatar
Wiccor Basquet
Dervish
Posts: 527
Joined: Wed Apr 28, 2004 3:11 pm
Main Character: Wiccor

Post by Wiccor Basquet »

I believe that is because you are too busy with "other activities" that would keep you from talking as much, Dal. :lol:
Zolo
Caliph
Posts: 2575
Joined: Sun May 02, 2004 11:24 pm
Location: Boise, Idaho

Post by Zolo »

Awesome. Great job, Jan. :D
Xolo - Level 67 Undead Priest
Rho - Level 47 Troll Mage
User avatar
GraaceAndWill
Assassin
Posts: 1242
Joined: Sat May 01, 2004 3:59 pm
Gender: Mangina
Main Character: Dal
Location: Dayton, OH

Post by GraaceAndWill »

you're right, I need an icon avatar that's a hoover vacuum.
Where there is virtual man ass, there you shall find me.
User avatar
Ves
Caliph
Posts: 4312
Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2004 6:35 pm
Location: Louisville, KY

Post by Ves »

Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity

Image
User avatar
Kyle>>You
Dervish
Posts: 623
Joined: Wed Jun 02, 2004 11:46 pm
Gender: Mangina
Main Character: Lucandra
Location: Riding A Penis (Atlanta)

Post by Kyle>>You »

Arne wrote:I'm a bit confused with the almost complete obsession of Penis in this guild
I blame myself and Ellen.
Alterin - 80 BE Paladin (Imaginary Friends - Zul'jin)
Spikeshot - 50 Spines/Regen Scrapper

Image
Post Reply